On Sharing

Consider the following two scenarios. Imagine an adult speaking to a child.

Option 1

The adult expresses their desire or interest in trying something the child is eating.

Option 2

The adult reminds the child that “one must share” (according to the rules inside the adult’s head). And if you don’t share - you’re bad, inadequate and simply not behaving as one should.

Sharing is pleasant. It comes from within because you want your loved ones to experience something nice that you are experiencing.

I can’t imagine an honest expression of interest in the first scenario leading to bitterness in either participant, provided that the relationship is built on trust and love.

As much as I can’t imagine the second scenario leading to anything good. Not in this power play of the adult. Framing the situation in such a way as to force the child to obey the desires of the adult just based on some principles existing in the adult’s mind. “It’s not that I want it; it’s that you must - and if you don’t, the fault is on you”.

Perhaps, the adult simply can’t even express their desires which would result in the child having a choice. Perhaps, the adult isn’t even aware of the strictly personal nature of their ideas of how one must behave with regard to sharing. And perhaps, the adult isn’t even capable of approaching the situation as an equal to the child, at the very least for the purposes of this exchange.